I’ve been on the marriage train for 25 years now and let me tell you, there have been some steep hills to climb. We most definitely will not be able to cover them all in one blog post but we sure can get started! What better place to start than at the beginning.
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THE BEGINNING
Ok, let’s face it, we have all dreamt about what our wedding would be like since we were little girls. We’ve been planning that part forever but I don’t think we actually thought about the after. I mean sure, we knew how many kids we wanted, how many boys or girls, dogs or cats, the white picket fence and the like but I bet you never thought about the rest. I bet you never thought about being unhappy a single day, arguing with the hubby, the monotony of married life. That folks is where fairytale becomes reality.
The newness in marriage is awesome. You can’t wait to see your hubby at the end of a work day. Can’t wait to spend all of your time together. You still get the flutters in your tummy when you see him after a long work day. Life is good during that first year. You might even be starting to talk about starting that family you’ve been dreaming about since you were younger. Everything is great!
FAST FORWARD
Let’s fast forward 5 years. You can’t wait to greet him at the door with the newspaper and a hug when he gets home from work. Can’t wait to show him what delicious meal you cooked for him after his long day and the special dessert you made. Wait,what? You’re not at home waiting at the door for your man? You didn’t spend all day cleaning the house and cooking him dinner and dessert? That would be a big fat nope. Why you may ask, because its 2020, you have 2 small kids and a job because shit is expensive and money doesn’t grow on trees.
With kids and bills comes stress my friends. The kids take up a huge part of the time you are home. There is dinner, baths, bedtime stories, by the time it’s all over you can’t wait to crawl into your bed. You know what there isn’t a lot of, quality time with your man because you feel like there just isn’t enough time in the day and your exhausted!
WHEN SHIT GETS REAL
This is where marriages start getting real folks. I mean to be more accurate the honeymoon phase is typically over after the first year, although it may last 2 if your super lucky. You now know each other real well which means you’ve discovered the little things that he does that drives you insane. He’s probably made his own little list of the things you do that drives him nuts as well. You wanna know the big difference between then and now? Well, I’m going to tell you anyway, your probably voicing your complaints and he’s keeping his to himself right now. Your thinking things are ok and he’s wondering why the hell he got married.
I know what you’re thinking, he needs to know what he’s doing so he can change it! Sadly this is where we start to go wrong. You see a man doesn’t need you to tell him what he is doing wrong. You’re not going to make him change his “bad behaviors”. You can’t chastise him because he’s not your child. I know, all women refer to their hubbys as just another one of their kids since he acts childish but this is another mistake on our part.
THE MALE EGO
When we treat our husbands like one of our children we are destroying his ego. The male ego is what gives him his drive, his purpose. Treating him like a child makes him feel as though he isn’t doing anything right and that makes him pull away from you. At first you won’t really notice because life and all is always move move move. Eventually the sign that something is going terribly wrong will start to show. You’ll notice that he’s watching more tv, or coming home later from work. Maybe he travels for his job and you’ve began to notice that the trips are more frequent. He’s not voicing his complaints to you yet so your not quite sure if it’s you or if there is something actually a miss.
This is the start of the marriage train not traveling so smoothly. Divorce is when the marriage train jumps the tracks. Our goal is a smooth ride in life on the marriage train. Stroking the male ego is like making sure the wheels on the train are greased.
TODAYS LESSON
The lesson I leave you with today friends is this. The male ego is the equivalent to the females feelings and emotions. A woman needs to be loved, cared for and wanted, a man needs to be appreciated, needed, and respected. The male ego is his drive in life. Making you happy and proud of him is his purpose. Stroke the male ego of your man. Keep the marriage train wheels greased up. You will be happy you did.
If you want to learn more about the male ego, or how men and women differ then I suggest reading John Gray’s Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I read this book and I would have sworn that he was writing about my husband. I honestly think this should be a book given to all high school students. It’s eye opening, and very informational, a truly excellent read. You can find this awesome book on amazon >> here
I hope you’re enjoying your journey on the marriage train. Keep an eye out for the next stop. Always Keepin’ it short and sweet until next time friends, live your happy life❤️
NOTE
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