How are you and your marriage doing during the 2020 Quarantine?
I like so many countless others have been put on “pause” as they are calling it here in NY. Schools are closed, all non-essentials are working from home or aren’t working at all. This is putting additional unneeded stress on already stressful marriages from couples being locked inside with each other day after day. So what are you doing to keep your home a happy place?
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DIVORCE RATES SKYROCKET IN CHINA
According to Bloomberg Businessweek divorce rates have skyrocketed in China after being quarantined for months with their spouses. They interviewed one woman about the pending status of her marriage and she listed there being too little money, too much screen time and not equally taking care of things around the house as her reasons for divorcing her husband. Apparently being locked up together for months wasn’t a good thing.
I don’t know about you but I don’t want the same fate in my home. Your home should be a happy place, your sanctuary and as a woman you have the power to make it just that even in these stressful times. How, you ask?
ONE DAY AT A TIME
Look, we are all in the same boat here. Life has changed drastically overnight, no one was prepared for any of this to happen. Jobs have been lost or home has now become your new workplace. Schools have been closed and you’ve now become the teacher. We are stuck on top of each other day after day and are driving each other nuts. I get it, I’m living it myself and today the governor issued another 30 day “pause” for our state. So you know what I’m gonna do? I’m going to take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. I’m not going to worry about the next 30 days home with everyone, I’m just going to do today. If we get everything done that needs to be done today, great that means it was a productive day. If not, well it’s just one day and tomorrow is a new one.
TAKE A BREAK
First- Take much needed breaks for yourself. Yes I realize that having your kids underfoot and your hubby in the next room makes it nearly impossible but even a 5 minute break will help relieve a little stress. Go for a quick walk, make yourself a warm cup of tea (iced tea if you’re lucky enough to be where it’s warm), hell lock yourself in the bathroom if that’s what you have to do but take that break. You’ll thank yourself later for it. Besides, a happy wife makes for a happy life or so men say and the best way to be happy is to take a few minutes just for yourself to decompress.
STAY POSITIVE
I know that it is difficult to be positive when you’re under stress. Stress makes you think negatively, and negative thoughts put you in a miserable mood but let’s think for a minute. Our goal here is to have a happy home through all of this. Well no one likes to be around negativity. So even though this whole situation sucks let’s try to remain positive.
Take a minute and think about it, there has to be some positive things happening in your life even in the midst of all this craziness. I can tell you a positive here, I have all new respect for my husband. I didn’t really know what he did at work all day and now that he is working from home I can see just how hard he really works to provide for our family. I would have never gotten to see him in action if we weren’t in this situation, I am truly amazed seeing him work and proud of the career he has built. That my friends is how you stay positive in a negative situation, you find the silver lining in the dark clouds.
BE THE SUNSHINE ON A CLOUDY DAY
Ok ladies, you are not going to like what I am about to say but it has to be said. No man likes being around a miserable woman with a puss on her face. Just like I’m sure you don’t like being around your man when he’s miserable (not trying to be one sided). Yes, the entire world is going through hell right now. Daily life is not at an all time high, I get it, most people are miserable but let’s not sit around with a miserable puss on our faces and let it wreck our marriages and homes too.
Put a smile on your face, light up the room and change the mood. Show your man that you are a rain of sunshine even if it’s cloudy and gray. Be the leader, women have all the true power in the relationship, a man feeds off of you. If your happy he will be happy. If your miserable then he will be miserable and hide in his “cave” and stay away from you. Make your home a happy place and life will be good even in this crap.
LEARN TO LET GO
Things are very rarely perfect. I know you are juggling a ton of things right now. I know you are trying to be Wonder Woman right now with your husband, your kids, your daily chores which seem to be never ending because everyone is under foot. I know you feel a tremendous amount of pressur right now and with every right. But let me tell you a little secret….
Learn to let go. If you don’t get all the school work done with the kids today, let it go, tomorrow is another day. Maybe the laundry didn’t get folded and put away, let it go, it’s not the end of the world, it will still be there tomorrow. Dishes still in the sink because you needed to take some time for you, let it go, sometimes there are other things that need to come first, you’ll get it done eventually. Learning to let it go will make you stress less which means a better mood for you and a happier home for the rest. Remember you set the mood for your home.
ENJOY THE DOWNTIME
How often do you have no where that you have to be? Enjoy the time you’ve been given to just be with your family. Treat this time as a gift. Use it to work on yourself, to work on your marriage, to get to know your kids better. Play games, snuggle up together and watch movies, go for a walk or bike ride (at a safe distance from others), bake cookies or cupcakes together. Just be. Enjoy the downtime while you can, before the hustle and bustle takes over again.
Always keepin’ it short and sweet. Until next time my friends, live your happy life 🙂
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