Why Do Men Cheat?

WHY DO MEN CHEAT?

I’ve been there, sitting where you are right now. Desperate to find answers, trying to figure out how to fix this or why it happened to begin with. Trying to decide on what the next step should be. Do I fight for my husband or just let him go? Your probably asking yourself at this very minute why he would do such a thing to you, to your family. Wondering if it was because you weren’t good enough, and asking yourself what she has that you don’t, besides your man at this moment. To learn more about my story keep a lookout for my ebook which will be coming soon to my Stan store but until then you can click the link for your free guide 5 Ways To Tell If That Lying Bastard Is Cheatin’  😁

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EMOTIONS 

It’s debilitating, going through something like this, maddening even. Like I’ve said, I have been in your shoes. I can remember it like it was yesterday. It drove me insane when I found out something was going on. Made me sick to my stomach, so much so that I lost 30 pounds in 2 months, the weight just fell off. I kept thinking to myself what went wrong? What did I miss? We were married for 20 years at the time this took place, 20 years of living with the same man day in, day out. How does someone your married to for half your life just decide one day to mess around with someone else, without warning, without any huge signs that something is going on?  I thought I knew this man, better than anyone. However, the man standing in front of me at that moment was a complete stranger.

THE BURNING QUESTIONS

Why do men cheat? Why do they feel the need to mess around with other women? What do you do when you find out that it’s going on right there in your own home? These are the questions every woman being cheated on asks herself. After D-Day (discovery day) I did so much research. I was heartbroken, shattered, and I needed to know why. I asked all those questions I mentioned. Why her? What does she have that I don’t? We had a pretty good life, why would he do something so stupid and throw that all away? Then there’s the big one, What the hell do I do now?

THE WHY

In the vast amount of research I did after finding out my husband was messing around, I discovered so much information out there. I know right now your thinking that men are dog’s and that’s why they cheat, no other info needed. That my friends is bull, you wouldn’t be here reading if you didn’t want real answers. So here they are, I’m going to give you my version of the why.

Men are dogs. Sorry, I had to, lol. Seriously though, as crazy as this all is and I’m not giving them an excuse or saying that it is okay for them to betray us but there are actual reasons they do it. It’s not out of spite, it’s not to hurt you. They don’t want to hurt you, that’s why they sneak around. They don’t want you to find out, they aren’t trying to shatter your heart into pieces. I say this with the majority of men in mind. There are some spiteful, abusive men out there. If your relationship is one of those, then stop reading and get help immediately. Run as fast as you can from him, he did you a favor by cheating. If your man is not an abusive one and just a “dog” then read on.

I think that a majority of men (or women to be honest) cheat because they are missing something in their life. A certain need isn’t being met which makes them kind of vulnerable. Men have these ego’s that need to be stroked in order to feel like a man. Once we get married or are just in a relationship for a long period of time we stop stroking his ego. We no longer flirt with him, or look at him like we did when we first started dating. We no longer thank him for the little things he does. We put other things or people first, he becomes just someone we expect to be there all the time. That my friends is a relationship killer. He is no longer getting those much needed things from you, and so the girl that is stroking his ego, seeking him out at work to “help” her with something, she becomes the person he interacts with more. The person he begins to seek out because she’s filling a need you no longer do.

We tend to think that men cheat for sexual pleasures, no other reason. No one thinks that a man has needs other than sex. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure sex with someone new is exciting. The thrill of a new relationship is amazing but I don’t think that’s the only reason men cheat. I just think that there are other reasons, like emotional needs not being met, or insecurities he may have because he’s getting up there in age. We hear men cheat because of their “midlife crisis”, life is passing them by and they don’t want to let it so they find a younger chick to help themselves feel young. Either that or the men going through the “midlife crisis” go buy the expensive sports car for a thrill. These are insecure men, men seeking attention, men needing their ego stroked. The why is simply because there is a need not being met, a void not being fulfilled.

THE SOLUTION 

Oh how I wish a single solution would solve everyone’s marriage whoas but sadly it isn’t that easy. Marriage is work every single day. The work doesn’t stop when we stand at the altar and say “I do”, that’s where the work begins. Yes, you signed up for better or worse, unfortunately when a marriage is in distress most people aren’t thinking about their vows. They are only trying to fill the void not being met. The solution is to fill the voids. Easier said than done, I know.

I’ve been married for 25 years now, my marriage is not perfect, far from it. My husband is a good man, but he was not happy. I was not meeting his needs, hell I didn’t even know what those needs were. You know who was meeting his needs, you guessed it, the marketing ho he was working with.

It has been 5 years since this nightmare took place. I know you all are probably thinking he should have been left for his huge mistake but I have different feelings on this. We are all human. Imperfect people that make mistakes, some are just bigger than others. I have a lifetime invested in my marriage. We have children and a grandchild and I didn’t want to throw away everything we have built without being 100 percent sure that I did everything possible to save my marriage because that is what I wanted most.

I tried all kinds of things to do that. We did counseling, I read books, and I will admit I learned a lot from reading and researching but I have to tell you there was always something missing. They all had a little bit  of great advice but none were the full package and NONE of them were written by someone who actually walked the walk. NONE were written by someone who actually made the journey and came out on the other side in tact, until now. I am in the final stages of my ebook/guide so be on the lookout for it.

A LITTLE LIFE LESSON

Marriage can be saved after an affair. I won’t lie to you, it isn’t easy but it can be done. It’s not going to happen overnight, and it’s going to take a lot of work on both sides but it can be done. Admittedly your marriage will not be the same as it was before this happened but you don’t really want it to be because something was off or the infidelity wouldn’t have happened in the first place.

I hope that by sharing my story with you all you find hope and comfort in knowing your not alone. There is someone that has walked in your shoes and is living proof that everything can be okay. Your marriage doesn’t have to be over, there are ways to fix it and believe it or not make it better than ever.

Always keepin’ it short and sweet until next time friends, Live your happy life 🙂

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